What Makes It All Worthwhile

the nights spent alone,
the days walking alone.
what makes the pain gone,
is the way your face shone.

i can't wait to be home,
the only home sweet home.
the way you'd smile,
makes me feel not vile.

be it months, be it days,
constant the heart beat stays.
the look on your face,
gives my body its grace.

cannot be hidden,
cannot be forbidden.
your zeal makes me smile,
makes it all worthwhile.

Am I Or Am I?

I was just going about my daily routine of googling random stuff and reading them up. pretty helpful, i tell you!

So, erm, yeah, i was reading about depression and symptoms and stuff. according to most the sites, copy pasted below are some symptoms. or major symptoms, if you will. i just couldn't help but try to self-diagnose a bit.

• Depressed mood - erm. more often than not, i find myself slightly depressed. but then, it changes back to normal just like that too. 
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy - i don't know remember doing anything in particular that i enjoyed. hmm.. now that IS weird!
• Feelings of guilt, hopelessness and worthlessness - this could be me and my low self-esteem sometimes. *shrugs* but not the worthlessness! come on, everyone knows how worthy i am! 
• Suicidal thoughts or recurrent thoughts of death - this is a definite NO NO! i wouldn't dream of killing myself. i don't need a one way ticket to hell. 
• Sleep disturbance (sleeping more or sleeping less) - i do find it hard to sleep sometimes. like tonight for instance! usually slight insomnia accompanies me on nights i am entertaining the mood swinging part of me. always thought that was weird! 
• Appetite and weight changes - appetite doesn't change much with me but the weight fluctuations are there but not by much though. :/
• Difficulty concentrating - i think this has more to do with me not wanting to study at all than actual depression. muwahaha.
• Lack of energy and fatigue - fatigue, nope. lack of energy, yes.

i forgot the point of this post. O.o 

oh yeah, so i was wondering if i am actually depressed or just a regular woman with a lot of hormonal shit going on?

and that is a rhetorical question, ladies and gentlemen!

PS. in case someone really depressed is reading this; 

What Am I Looking For?

for the first time in my life, i truly wanted to sleep last night. just sleep and never wake up. i was longing for peace. longing for silence. longing for contentedness. i kept feeling like something is missing in life. something that i really really want. something i need.

this thought kept me up for hours. but i still don't have the answers. what is it that i am looking for? if i don't know this, how can i try to look for it?

i thought that i could sleep it off. but alas, here i am, wide awake in the morning trying to still figure it out. what is my mind trying to tell me?

what am i looking for?

A Day Of Firsts...

today [no wait, it's technically yesterday because it was before 12 0' clock], a series of firsts has happened leaving me all freaked out.

1. my dad initiated on making everyone go to moodhu.

2. i played volleyball [or any sport at all] with my dad.

3. my burugaa decided to go off my head while i was in moodhu. [this reminds of bulhaa because i think this has happened to her like twice or something.]

4. the second i finished the whole business of getting the burugaa back on my head, the first thing it thought was, this needs to go on my blog.

:/ right?

i know for people reading this, this might not sound a tad bit of unusual or freaky but for anyone who knows me well will know what i am saying. these things don't happen to me. at all.

and below is the first image that came up when i googled "a day of firsts"

now, how creepy is this? i mean, c'mon, [if i take that saying literally] i'd hate it if my burugaa decides to run off my head everytime i go to moodhu!

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time... I used to blog!

it's been ages since i last blogged. even more than a year i guess. i blame it all on twitter!

when i started twitter, not many of my friends were there then. but when all of a sudden twitter became so popular, every blogger friend of mine forgot blogging and moved onto tweeting! i guess i don't blame them coz thats what happened to me too.

i think i have to give credit to Ashraf. i saw him blog today and i just couldn't help but remember the thrill blogging used to give me back then.

so, i'm here again [this time hopefully i won't stop] and i'm here to stay!

i hereby welcome me back to the blogosphere and make it my new year's resolution to keeping blogging all year long!

WHAT Made Him Do It Anyways?

there's this girl who sits next to me in office, Athee. we were talking random stuff the other day when out of nowhere she said this.. [i have obviously translated it to English according to my knowledge :P] "i wonder why Ibrahim Nasir fought so much as to freed ourselves from the Brits."

then when i gave it a thought, i thought the same too. why on earth would he want to give us freedom coz obviously this ain't what poeple call "freedom". i dont anyways. how can this be freedom when we keep dancing like others do? well yeah, we have some of our own stuff, but who remembers them anymore? 

i know he wouldn't have wanted our country to be in the situation it is in today, when he fought so hard for the freedom. with the crime rate up high in the skies and the economy well below the ground, i hardly call ourselves free. as Athee said, wouldn't we have been more civilized and our country so much advanced in tech. stuff if we had stayed under the British Govt.? it's not like they were enslaving us or something, right? [or were they? as far as i know, they weren't]. 

also, if we were under them, Maumoon wouldn't obviously have all those oppportunities to do what he did..now would he?[lol] i wonder what made Nasir do it. i seriously do.

photo source: google :)

PS. i know i haven't updated in a loooong time now. what to do.. just haven't had the time and been in the mood. 

Happi Burday Mom!!

me lurrrves u mom.. !

hope u have a blast! 

02.02

finally..yesterday i turned 9teeeen!!!! final year of teenage.. this had better be good!! 

aaand i'm totally satisfied of how my burday went even though some stuff didn't really work out as planned.. but then again, all's well that ends well,eh?

New Year..Already?

damn. it feels like i was celebrating the start of 2008 just a few days back. and 2009 is here already? *long sigh*

well, 2008 has been a great year in a lot of ways for me..and for this blog too! overall, it has been an satisfying year, i must say.

bbbut, i'm hoping 2009 is gonna be much better!

PS. just exactly one more month for my burday! *smile*

[ fluffy ]

*siiiigh*
saw her on the road in front of CHSE.. there were three guys with her in their hands. she was SO cute that me n bulhaa couldn't keep our hands off her. we wanted to bring her home immediately. so we asked the guys and brought her home. she's like sooo cute! and very very olhu too i must say.

me n bulhaa doesn't think she's a stray cat coz she looks too clean to be one. so if you know who she might have belonged to or something, please contact me.

i'm willing to keep her with me though. she's THAT cute. and yeah, i named her Fluffy. you'd know why when you touch her.
*sighs again*

Trust

i find it really weird how i find it really hard to trust people these days. the second they say something, my mind starts thinking.. "is it true? could it be? really?"

is this jus a phase? does this happen to others too? or is it just me?

i wonder.

I Have Nothing More to Be Said..

..than this:



http://dhondhooni.com

Trust Me, It's True.. O.o

this is by far the weirdest story i have ever heard so far in my life. heard this one through grapevine though it's 100% truth. anyways, let's get on with it.

*ahem ahem* here it goes.

there's this couple. they had been married atleast for more than 8 years. they have four kids too. what happened is that, recently this lady had a miscarriage during the fourth month of her pregnancy and apparently she had some bleeding problem for quite a number of days. [during which apparently they wouldn't be doing THE sexual stuff].

here comes the best part. apparently, this lady got so depressed about not being able to satisfy his man sexually, she actually went [at noon] and brought some girl FOR her husband to satisfy him! yes, this is true!

i mean, i have heard about the husband going and cheating on his wife and all..but a WIFE going to fetch a MISTRESS for the HUSBAND? i seriously was speechless. i asked double triple times if this was really true. it really is.

dear god, what is the world coming to? oh and apparently, this bastard of a husband was recently caught red-handed in the act with the sister of his wife! this sister would be some 15 years of age. they were BOTH naked with no piece of clothing on ANY of them. and, it didn't look like a rape or abuse to the mother of these two siters who saw the act. aaaaad guess what?? The dad of the sisters went like "massala jassaakah beynumeh noon..emyhunge [the couple's] dharinthah balan jeheyny mashah eyrun".. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS? much to my surprise, its TRUE!!

*sigh*

And This One's For Bulhaa..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BULHAA!!!

this is the first time we both are not in the same island on your b day since we met 20 years ago, eh? *lol*

wishing you all the happiness..including my share of it!

This One's For You, Huralleen!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HURALLEEN!!

*sings "happy birthday to you" song for huralleen*

i wish you would get everything you wished for, today and everyday! missing you big, woman!

*sings the line "wish you were here.." *

Everyone, Meet Ollie!!

she's gonna be staying with me for another two three weeks. now ain't she cute?? that's a pic of her sleeping. you should see her cute lil hands. and she's a darling when she eats.. [this is me NOT excited =P]

Tagged, thanks to .mini *tongue out*

been tagged by .mini [its my first time, so I'm pwetty excited]

so here it goes;



1. What’s your latest addiction? Sex and the City series.

2. What are you listening to? a song called "thi reethi moonu" by Liusha Mohamed

3. How late did you stay up last night and why? umm till three i think.. why? coz i was up reading a MillsnBoon book. *smile*

4. Who were you with last Friday night? umm..friday night? *thinking*.. i think i was out shopping with my aunt.

5. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? umm not really, but you never know *wink*

6. When is the next time you’ll see your close friends? two of them atleast some two three weeks later i guess..but the rest i dont know..might even be tomorrow.

7. What were you doing this morning at 7am? SLEEPING! that's what I've been doing everyday at 7 am since my A level exams this June.

8. What radio station do you listen to the most? capital radio.. but that's also hardly ever.

9. What was the reason you last cried? coz i felt like it? *smile*

10. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? yeah, some five six times.

11. What’s the fifth text in your inbox say? hmm..let's see.. *checking inbox* oki here it is; "bokkura ehga aneh dhivehi raajje ah dhiumah dhathuru kuramun dhiya bayaku kandu mathi alhaifi habaru libeygothugai mihaaru emyhun wathan edhey gothah dhiumah dhathuru fashaifi namaves wathan edheny kon gothakah kameh adhi engifaeh nuvey" *lol*

12.Where was the last coffee shop u go to? umm the question is wrong so i'll not answer..

13. What’s ur outfit right now? black pants, black kuruthaa with purple embroidery and black burugaa..

16. What were you doing at 11pm last night? was chatting on MSN

17. Who was the last person you talked to last night before bed? ibbi [a friend]

18. Will you be driving in a year? i really hope so!

19. Is there anything that you are craving right now? umm..yeah, a mars icecream tub *yummy*

20. When did your last hug take place? some ten minutes ago. i hugged my cute lil cousin Rana before she went to bed.

22. Have you ever started a sentence with “No offense, but…”? yep, hundreds of times.

23. Do you drink tea? yeah! i love trying out different flavors.

24. Have you ever been arrested? nope

25. Have you rode in someone else’s car today? nope, not yet

26. Have you made a mistake this past week? yeah..so?

27. Who was the last person you texted? puppumeeha

28. Are you happy with your life right now? nope, not right now

29. In the past 72 hours have you been under the influence of sleep? not that i know of

30. What’s the connection between you and the last person you texted? a very cool and close friend who's the only girl from my gang who's taller than me *lol*


aaaaannnd, i tag puppumeeha and huralleen.. *smile*

What's There In A Name...?

i have been thinking about this lately. recently i have seen lots of my friends getting in and out of relationships. i have seen people getting together with people who they have met just a week ago. and some have refused to say yes, "not knowing the other person well" being their reason for the refusal.

here's what i think. i think that people should know the other person well enough BEFORE they let themselves into a relationship. maybe as they say it, they could "date" some people for a while and then choose one of 'em. like what Meredith did in Grey's Anatomy. this obviously doesn't apply for those buggers who lives JUST to sleep around. *major eye roll*

and yeah, what exactly IS there in a name? as far as i know, having the name of being in a relationship [outside a legal marriage] doesn't make it legal in our religion. or its not even enough for some people to get serious and commit themselves to another person.

so, is a name for the relationship [excluding marriages] important at all in the present world?

Top Five Things About A Break-Up

we all have been there. well most of us anyway. if you're a victim of a recent and heart-breaking break-up, you should consider these points. i am not Dr. Love or Love Guru but here's what i think might be good to consider.

1. it's always u. if not, they wouldn't break up, now would they? so don't listen to this age old crap of "it's not u..it's me. i am the one wrong here.. yada yada yada" from everyone who breaks up with you. tell them to cut the crap and come up with a better excuse!

2. it's their loss that they lost u. not the other way around. most prolly they'll realize what they have lost when someone gives them a dose of their own heart-breaking medicine.

3. never ask for a second chance. makes u look stupid in front of them. [some might say that you don't care about the relationship much. this is the point where u remind s/he who was breaking up with whom] if they wanted to give a second chance, they would tell so and wouldn't bring up the subject of breaking up.

4. do NOT call any of their friends right away [or at anytime] and BEG them to ask the guy/gal not to do this n that n blah n blah. it's not gonna have much effect on the person who broke up with you. [if it does, why the hell were u with a guy/gal who needs his friends to think good for him all the time in the first place?]

5. do not push yourself into another relationship within 24 hours [i recommend a week or two at least] after a break-up. it's possible that you might not be in your right mind to make such a important decision. which might create problems in future. getting under another doesn't really help u get over one all the time, u know?