What Makes It All Worthwhile

the nights spent alone,
the days walking alone.
what makes the pain gone,
is the way your face shone.

i can't wait to be home,
the only home sweet home.
the way you'd smile,
makes me feel not vile.

be it months, be it days,
constant the heart beat stays.
the look on your face,
gives my body its grace.

cannot be hidden,
cannot be forbidden.
your zeal makes me smile,
makes it all worthwhile.

Am I Or Am I?

I was just going about my daily routine of googling random stuff and reading them up. pretty helpful, i tell you!

So, erm, yeah, i was reading about depression and symptoms and stuff. according to most the sites, copy pasted below are some symptoms. or major symptoms, if you will. i just couldn't help but try to self-diagnose a bit.

• Depressed mood - erm. more often than not, i find myself slightly depressed. but then, it changes back to normal just like that too. 
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities you used to enjoy - i don't know remember doing anything in particular that i enjoyed. hmm.. now that IS weird!
• Feelings of guilt, hopelessness and worthlessness - this could be me and my low self-esteem sometimes. *shrugs* but not the worthlessness! come on, everyone knows how worthy i am! 
• Suicidal thoughts or recurrent thoughts of death - this is a definite NO NO! i wouldn't dream of killing myself. i don't need a one way ticket to hell. 
• Sleep disturbance (sleeping more or sleeping less) - i do find it hard to sleep sometimes. like tonight for instance! usually slight insomnia accompanies me on nights i am entertaining the mood swinging part of me. always thought that was weird! 
• Appetite and weight changes - appetite doesn't change much with me but the weight fluctuations are there but not by much though. :/
• Difficulty concentrating - i think this has more to do with me not wanting to study at all than actual depression. muwahaha.
• Lack of energy and fatigue - fatigue, nope. lack of energy, yes.

i forgot the point of this post. O.o 

oh yeah, so i was wondering if i am actually depressed or just a regular woman with a lot of hormonal shit going on?

and that is a rhetorical question, ladies and gentlemen!

PS. in case someone really depressed is reading this;